Archive for the Year 2002 

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The Neutral Zone

COMMUNITY MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 1 January 2002

Monthly Highlights

Welcome to the first online issue of the CMC online newsletter. We hope you enjoy reading our CMC news online, and ask for your patience as we work on our format (and a new name for the newsletter.)

The Community Mediation Center has been slow with our monthly sharing in part because of our goal to make the highlights a part of our web site. The address is easy to remember for our co-mediators: 2mediate.org. We hope you visit it frequently for the latest information and future dates and plans.

Volunteer of the Month:

Our VOM will step down at our annual meeting after commuting from her Clinton home for the last several years. Wanda Penland-Olson’s contributions to CMC will be long lasting. Her leadership promoted the writing and adoption of the first business-plan for CMC in 2001. She also was the strength for board development efforts including our first fund-raising drive last year. We hope to still use her skills in editing and idea-generation. Thank you Wanda for your enthusiastic leadership.

Volunteer Training - New Class:

CMC expects to have a full class of 24 when Friday April 12 arrives for our spring new-mediator training. New mediators are especially needed in support of Blount and Jefferson County. In Knox County staff with our current large volunteer base CMC will strive to fill openings with individuals who have time available where we have insufficient numbers of volunteers. The 40-hours of training is the preferred standard for volunteer mediation centers and it matches well with the Tennessee requirements for 40 hours for its "certified Rule 31 mediators." CMC is the only volunteer mediation center in Tennessee with a curriculum of more than 24 hours. If you have any recommendations for new volunteers have them download the application from our web site and get the application to CMC quickly.

CMC’s current volunteer mediators will be asked to assist in the review and interviewing that will take place on March 24. Role-players and observers will be needed on Sunday April 14 and Saturday and Sunday April 20 and 21.Our Many Volunteers: Staff recently reviewed our rosters of mediators and identified 91 who are currently active. The dropouts and time-outs with three exceptions over the last two years were based on moving out of town, as well as life and vocational changes. The three felt they had met their obligation and were no longer committed.

More Tools for Mediators:

John just completed four weeknights of soup and continuing education for 31 mediators who conduct juvenile and co-parenting mediations. The sessions were focused on providing more tools to the kits of our mediators. From the weekly sharing staff we were able to identify several improvements and helps for our volunteers as well as a listing of possible new tools.

Listing of Mediators Who Received their CMC Certification for Becoming Seasoned:

In updating our listing of "seasoned" mediators CMC recognized that some of our long-standing mediators were not recognized with our printed certificates. Two that we overlooked were Julian Wick and Conchetta Tuckson. More recent mediators include: Ron Hopper, Carol Robbins, Lynn Kidd, Donna Wilson-Renner; Robyn Davis-Lay, Gene Flinter, Susan Hunt, Janet Rooks, Susan Borthwick, Claude Ramer, Jo Rogers, and Maze Bolin.

These certificates are definitely earned following a great deal of time, commitment and process skill. CMC staff have been pleased to see how many are proudly framed in homes and offices.

 

CMC Board Update:

‘Tis the season for the CMC Board to be very, very busy! As the new Board year begins in April, we are actively planning for the rest of 2002. Recently the Board elected four new members: Volunteer mediators Susan Mee, Jim Johnson, Janet Rooks, and Lynn Kidd. The Board is also happy to welcome a new liaison for the District Attorney’s Office, Assistant District Attorney General Del Holley.With our new members on Board (yes, pun intended!), we now look to plan how in 2002 CMC will move closer towards achieving the goals set out in our business plan. The Board will be meeting in an all-day retreat to work on planning on March 16 at the Knoxville Zoo. With the assistance of CMC volunteer Delores Mitchell as our facilitator, we expect this year’s retreat to be the most productive yet!

Blount County:

Blount County's New Program Director: For those who are not familiar, I am Robyn Davis-Lay. If the hyphen throws some of you, it is because I am newly wed as of December 30, 2001. I have had the opportunity to meet most of the CMC community by serving as a VISTA in the Knox County office for the last year. I hope to bring a positive direction and commit to rebuilding and expanding CMC’s impact on Blount County residents. I welcome any help or ideas from the CMC community in nourishing our growth. As my husband and I get to know the Blount County area better, I hope to get to know each of you better. Please feel free to contact me by phone, e-mail, or stop by. I enjoy visitors and current office hours are Monday – Thursday, 8:30 AM - 4:30 PM.

Blount County Update:

Blount County received 48 referrals for mediations and performed 46 mediations in total for 2001. All 46 mediations resulted in agreements.Robyn met with Juvenile Court Judge Terry Denton and administrative staff to evaluate how to increase the number of mediations referred by Blount County Juvenile Court. Currently, CMCBC has received 4 referrals in two weeks, compared to 3 referrals for the entire last quarter of 2001. We are continuing to look at ways to increase referrals in Blount County.

Blount County CMC has requested grant funding from ALCOA Foundation and The Daily Times Charitable Fund. We are waiting for the foundations to announce their decisions in mid-to-late March.

We received a $1,000 donation from New Providence Presbyterian Church. They are continuing supporters of CMCBC and feel mediation is valuable to the Blount County community. We thank them for believing!

In January, Owen Rhodes and Robyn represented CMCBC at the Annual Parents' Day Fair at Foothills Mall. The daylong fair served to identify community resources and educate parents on their availability. Thanks Owen!

Robyn and volunteer mediators will be hosting a community education session for the new class of Blount County Habitat homeowners on March 18th and 25th. The hour-and-a-half sessions will focus on active listening and communication skills, as well as conflict resolution techniques for community living.

Jefferson County:

The Jefferson County CMC held a kickoff meeting on Monday, February 4th at Jefferson County High School. Those attending included Judge Ben Strand of the Jefferson County Juvenile and Sessions Court, as well as representatives of the Jefferson County Commission, the Jefferson County School Board, the Retired Teachers Association, the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Department, Carson-Newman College, and other interested citizens. The meeting has also resulted in a great deal of interest in CMC in Jefferson County. This included a speaking engagement with the Kiwanis Club, a radio interview on WJFC in Jefferson City, the beginning of a referral relationship with the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Department, as well as a strengthened relationship with the Jefferson County Juvenile Court. In addition, Carson-Newman College has agreed to let CMC conduct mediations in vacant classrooms. Also, several people have shown interest in becoming volunteer mediators and/or being involved in other ways.

As of the end of February, we have had two successful mediations and we have four more referrals going into March.

New Initiatives:

The CMC is supporting Tennessee’s Community Assistance Corporation (TCAC) in providing conflict resolution training and assistance to resident councils in ten housing authorities in East Tennessee. Staff will assist in training and assisting the councils of residents to develop neighborhood programs. Our volunteers will be asked to assist in role-plays and early mediations to prepare the residents. TCAC has received a three year grant from the Housing and Urban Development to assist the selected resident councils. Mediation of land-use disputes has been the focus of both a front-page article and an editorial in the Knoxville News-Sentinel over the last month. The CMC is in conversations with the Metropolitan Planning Commission and many other interested parties over possibly being the "neutral" organization to receive referrals and provide mediators. Nationally we have found very little precedence for referrals to mediation beginning in the dispute rather after the appeal. Lisa has already taken one short course at the Lincoln Institute in land-use disputes and a second is scheduled for April to be attended by John and Lisa.

The Neutral Zone

COMMUNITY MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 2 February-March 2002

Soup and Continuing Education

John and Karen Doggette hosted four March weekday evenings of continuing mediation education for mediators who conduct visitation and juvenile referrals. Thirty-two CMC mediators attended one of the sessions and were able to share both in the living room and over soup or chili in the dining room. The issues raised by the group included: "to follow or not to follow the co-parenting template," "how not to let it be about me in mediating with a difficult client," "calling a CMC staff member for assistance," and "trusting the model."

Based on comments received from those in attendance additional sessions using a similar format would be valued. A similar approach is being planned for the coming months.

Volunteer of the Month – Lynn Kidd

The Volunteer for the month for March-April is Lynn Kidd. Lynn has been available to support CMC from the day he completed training in April 2001. He has been active on the Blount County CMC council and is the CMC Board member and treasurer. Lynn has mediated a wide variety of mediations throughout both Blount and Knox counties. We are most pleased Lynn returned to his home following a career with the United Nations and found CMC as another diverse community to join. Thanks Lynn. We appreciate you.

Training of Volunteers

The CMC will began its 13th class of volunteer training on April 11. The number of applications, 55 and counting, far exceeded the 24-membercapacity of the class. The selection committee had a most difficult time matching the interests of the qualified candidates with the time requirements of the county courts they will serve. CMC currently has a strong base of qualified mediators in Knox County and selection concentrated on strengthening the volunteer base in Blount and Jefferson Counties. Our thanks to Karen Doggette for her overall coordination of the interviewing process and to the many volunteers who gave of their Sunday afternoon to co-interview the many candidates.

CMC Retreat and New Officers

The Board and staff of CMC traveled to the Knoxville Zoo on March 16 for the annual retreat. Bud Muly newly elected Chair assumed the leadership from Sam Fowler, who completed his six-year term on the Board. Other elected officers were Ralph Alexander - Vice Chair; Suzanne Rogers -Secretary; and Lynn Kidd - Treasurer. In addition two new liaisons from key organizations to CMC were added. Sam Fowler was appointed liaison to the Knoxville Bar Association and Del Holley, Assistant District Attorney General agreed to represent the District Attorney. (A complete listing of the CMC board is included on our web site).

The retreat focused on the coming year and the requirement for updating our annual business plan to reflect the opportunities and challenges the CMC is afforded. The CMC Board was presented and passed a balanced budget for 2002. Currently neither of the CMC programs in Blount or Jefferson County has adequate revenues from the host county. The newest program explained was CMC's subcontract with Tennessee's Community Assistance Corporation. CMC will work with residents of public housing in ten East Tennessee communities to promote stronger neighborhood participation and conflict resolution. New CMC committees were identified, and for two of them CMC is seeking additional participation: 1) updating the 2002 CMC business plan and 2) planning CMC volunteer celebration events.

Tennessee Valley Authority Contribution

CMC received a $1500 contribution from TVA for its work in volunteer

mediation. Vyrone Cravanas, a CMC Board member and TVA employee, stated the contribution supported TVA’s mission of being a good community citizen. The six TVA employees, who also mediate for CMC, further demonstrate in donated hours their commitment to the mission of CMC. Our thanks to our volunteers from TVA for their many contributions.

Blount County News

As the first quarter of 2002 comes to a close, number of cases referred from Juvenile Court and mediated are triple the closing quarter of 2001. Four mediations during the quarter came from individuals who learned about CMCBC from community outreach efforts. In performing community outreach, Robyn hosted a two-part training for new Habitat for Humanity homeowners on March 18th & March 25th. The fourteen-residents attending the group received conflict resolution skills developed for use in neighborhood associations and neighbor-to-neighbor disputes.

CMCBC would like to thank Margaret Kidd for keeping CMCBC in mind. Margaret works for a local credit union and knew just where to send a conference table when her office was remodeling.

Web Staff:

The CMC web site has been designed to provide current information

to our volunteer community. Current newsletters will be displayed on the

site. www.2mediate.org

CMC Telephone Numbers (865 area code)

CMC - Knox - Andrew Johnson Bldg. 594-1879

CMC - Knox - Juvenile Justice Center 215-6482

CMC - Knox - Juvenile Justice Center Annex 215-6564

CMC - Blount - 977-5454

CMC - Jefferson – 933-5692

 

 

The Neutral Zone

COMMUNITY MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 3 April 2002

Debriefing with Co-Mediators and Communicating About Style Differences

A recent conversation between CMC staff and a mediator focused on the question of what should be done when a co-mediator steps outside the mediation model and becomes actively involved in problem solving for the clients. Because staff sincerely believe "It's About Me" we treat such inquiries as a request by the caller for assistance in improving her/his mediation abilities. New mediators must learn to become comfortable and effective in problem solving and to overcome differences with the co-mediator while assisting clients across the table.

The remarks made by an April training panel composed of Maze Bolen, Dianne Rairdon, and Dave Rupert help the new mediators understand their role as a member of a co-mediation team. The interactive panel itself modeled the effectiveness of CMC volunteer communication as even though none of the three had ever mediated together they effectively worked with the ideas and remarks of each other.

· Dave – Remember every one of you is an experienced mediator when you leave training. Every mediator mediates to gain additional experience and each co-mediator has contributions to make to the process.

· Dianne – Trust the model. Ensure that you are only assisting the process and that you are not a part of the mediation. Even when your partner is "on a roll" you can be an effective observant participant.

· Maze – Your clients do not expect you to be perfect. If you make a mistake brush it off and move forward. One of your tests of your own ability as a mediator is to demonstrate that you can effectively collaborate with mediators who have different styles.

As I approach the completion of my fifth year as CMC’s Executive Director I can say with confidence that CMC’s volunteer mediators are available to help each other become better. It’s about WE supporting a process for THEM. Volunteer mediators can benefit in skill and knowledge from effectively debriefing with your co- and observer especially when a completed mediation session leaves you frustrated. When an evening mediation goes late during the working week, agree to talk by phone on the next evening. If the source of your frustration is your co-mediator remember the value of the I statement. "I feel frustrated when I feel you are using non-mediation techniques that introduce a personal bias into the mediation." The skills you have learned in mediation work equally well in debriefing with each other.

Master’s Degree Study on Mediator Communication Competence

Forty-five volunteers completed a survey in November conducted by former CMC intern Nick West. The analysis of the mediators’ responses was the basis for Nick’s Master’s thesis and will soon be available on our web site www.2mediate.org. CMC staff felt there were three beneficial implications related to the selection, and the continuing education of mediators raised by the study.…mediators who chose avoiding, accommodating, or competing styles of conflict management found themselves to be just as communicatively competent as their counterparts who listed their conflict management strategies as being collaborating, compromising, or blend.Data…tends to indicate that an "open" style of classroom is the best type of environment for relating such large amounts of new, and sometimes foreign, instruction on mediation. Volunteers…sought additional reinforcement of mediation techniques through an increase in trainee-trainer interactions and feedback.

Julia and Jim Malia: Volunteers of the Month:

Long overdue as CMC volunteers for the month are Julia and Jim Malia. Both were involved in the creation of CMC, the evaluation of early applicants, the support of committees and Board activities and the mediation of divorces. The two University of Tennessee professors provide CMC with their current schedule of availability for evening mediations. They fit CMC’s criteria for being "good folks," as well as caring and very competent mediators. CMC is honored to have their expertise and long-standing commitment to volunteer mediation. Thank you Jim and Julia.

April 2002 Class of Volunteers:

CMC had an abundance of applicants for the 24 member April training class with over 55 applications representing Knox, Blount and Jefferson Counties. CMC was able to expand the volunteer base in Jefferson and Blount counties and increase male volunteers for evening mediations in Knox County. CMC did not, however, meet its goal for the needed additional mediators for daytime Knox General Sessions Court. A total of thirty-six current volunteer mediators provided training support and welcome to the trainees during interviews, panel discussions, role-plays and observations. Nothing attests to the caliber of CMC’s training like the participation of current mediators. New trainees were not in doubt about our quality mediation community after meeting our volunteers throughout their interview and training experience.

Under CMC’s existing contract to Tennessee’s Community Assistance Corporation two staff members and the president of a resident housing association were trained as members of the April class. All three were committed at the end of the class to also becoming volunteer mediators. A local organization paid for two of its employees to attend. Company representatives approached CMC to have them participate in training in hopes they would learn skills to resolve ongoing workplace issues.

The graduates of the April 2002 class are Michael Braswell, John Buckley, Cheryl Commisa, Jeremy Cole, Ron Davis, Richard Dietrich, Tracie Dodson-Keeney, James Goin, Richelle Gregory, Andrea Hensley, Miracle Hurley, Sue Jarnagin, Terri Lyon, Cecelia Montfort, Cathy Rhodes, Marty Seamon, Kristen Sowder, Bo Sutton, Harold Taylor, Kathleen Thomforde, and Carrie Waxler. Wilson, the service-dog of John Buckley attended the entire course and taught us lessons in patience and service. John did tell us that he and Wilson went through 28-days of training. Hmmm.

Increased Use of Observers and Mentors

One of the concerns raised about volunteer mediation centers and mediators in general is the lack of the opportunity to validate mediation skills. The CMC will be actively establishing three-member teams for pre-scheduled mediators. CMC’s goal for the coming year is to enhance the skills and abilities of our current mediators. Less experienced mediators will be given the opportunity to observe and provide constructive feedback to more seasoned mediators. In turn seasoned mediators and CMC staff will be asked to mentor selected teams through observation and de-briefing.

Celebrating With Our CMC Volunteer Family

Several volunteers have expressed an interest in working with CMC staff and board in planning events where the contributions of volunteers can be celebrated. Because of our limited success in bringing mediators together we hesitate to offer early suggestions. However, we would like to encourage ideas and participation from those of you who are capable of making quality events happen. Thanks.

Community Mediation Center

912 S. Gay Street L-300

Knoxville, TN 37923

865-594-1879 – Knox865-977-5454 - Blount

865-933-5692 – Jefferson

mediate@esper.com- Knoxcmcjc@esper.com - Jeffersoncmcbc@esper.com - Blount 

The Neutral Zone

COMMUNITY MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 4 May 2002

Five Years As an Executive Director and President

In the middle of May I successfully completed my fifth year as director of the Community Mediation Center as well as the beginning of my sixth. Because mediation is future forward I will reframe my reflections as "issues for the future." Those who know about our CMC mediation philosophy know that in the beginning it is "All About Me."

First, I have gained great competence in operating a mediation center, in working with clients and in mediating a great variety of cases involving a real variety of individuals. CMC has received nearly 2000 referrals during my tenure, and completed over 1300 agreements.

Second, I have been fortunate to have worked along side Sharon Upshaw and Lisa Givonetti (four years) as a family-run business. We have learned and developed CMC together. The curiosity of the three of us in preparing the clients and problem-solving unusual issues has enabled many parties to become empowered to mediate. The lawyer and paralegal staff have educated and nurtured me until I know how to find protocol, procedural and legal answers.

Third, with the recognition of how much I’ve learned comes the recognition is that I must really have been unprepared when I began. Fourth, to recast a real estate term – the key to success for a not-for-profit mediation center is volunteers, volunteers, volunteers. CMC has a wonderful group of mediators from throughout the communities we serve. Thirteen classes of mediators have been trained, nine during my five years of service. In 1998 CMC staff coined two terms in talking about our mediators, partially based on Tennessee Rule 31 mediators being called as "professional." Since our veteran volunteers definitely weren’t "non-professional" established them as "seasoned." Our volunteer family of mediators soon became our "flock." Our individual mediators are "good people" dedicated mediators and otherwise very dissimilar. Fifth, CMC has gained the trust of the individual employees: judges, educators, court staff, prosecutors, law enforcement officers, local governments, social agencies and peer mediation centers across the state. The employees refer cases to mediation with the recognition that our staff and volunteers will make every effort to provide the parties with a process to enable them to resolve their issues through constructive conversation.

Finally, I continue to feel fortunate in my second career to have the opportunity to help create a very viable volunteer mediation center surrounded by great staff and volunteers. At times I would cherish a quiet day. However with four locations staffed by only five staff plus VISTAs and an occasional intern, CMC has passed being a tranquil environment. I sincerely thank all the wonderful folks associated with helping to make CMC a success.

Volunteer of the Month:

Julian Wick is our CMC volunteer of the month. Julian was one of the original mediators trained in 1994 who took a leave to move to California. When he moved back to East Tennessee in 2000 he again became active with CMC. Julian’s cheerful disposition and calm mediation skills are utilized in General Sessions Courts as well taking Saturday referrals. Julian’s co-mediation skills in active listening qualifies him as a mediator every volunteer should seek to observe or mediate with. CMC is grateful to have Julian as a volunteer. Thanks Julian.

Volunteers of The Month (VoM):

In August 1997 CMC instituted the volunteer of the month with the selection of Dale Robinson as the first person recognized. When CMC failed to select a volunteer for the second month Dale asked for the honor to be spread around. Since then 45 volunteers have been recognized as our first two CMC plaques of names have been nearly filled. Most selected volunteers have acknowledged their pleasure in having been recognized. As one told us " CMC has great mediators and to be considered to be in their company is truly an honor." CMC recently replaced the VoM "Save the Children" mug for one volunteer for his old one that was chipped and had a broken handle.

The breakdown of individuals selected as volunteers illustrates the breadth of our volunteer spirit. CMC has selected five Board members as VoMs; seven VISTAs or college interns; and 33 mediators. Of the mediators selected over the last five years 29 continue to volunteer regularly; two have moved; one stopped for health reasons and one died.

Mediators and Pilots - The Dangers of Experience

Recently a pilot instructor told CMC staff that the most dangerous time for a pilot was when he about 500 hours of flight time - A time when a pilot felt had so much experience that he had the tendency to no longer conduct the double-checking of all the preflight and in-flight checklists. Two pilot error examples he used to illustrate the dangers. In one example a pilot neglected to lower the landing gear prior to landing and skidded across the runway on the belly of the plane. In the other example, the pilot of a small plane neglected to visually check the fuel supply, instead relying only on the fuel gauge (which was not working.) He'll never forget the landing that day -- right in the middle of a lake!

Without overly abusing the metaphor the CMC staff always recommend that mediators consult the mediation checklists before and during a mediation. The parties in mediation should be able to know their progress along the six-step mediation checklist. Flying into a mediation without being prepared can be unfair to the parties and strongly reduce their ability to reach their own outcome.

As you read this below reflect on whether you are committing any of these experienced mediator/ pilot errors. Have you started the mediation without discussion with your co-mediator about the case or your communication patterns during the mediation? Have you mediated solo and forgot to utilize the co-mediator sitting beside you?

Or not demonstrated active listening and mediator patience? Ran your own motor when it should have been left to idle? Determined to "fix" the parties by offering your favorite sermon, the parent 101 lecture, the expert lawyer advice, or the family counselor wisdom?

The neutral mediator team became the director and no longer the guide for the process?

Wrote the agreement in your words vaguely related to the requirements of the parties?

The justification for not being a neutral scribe is usually that the mediators’ agreement will be better than the parties’ words and wishes, the mediators failed to clearly capture their clients’ alternatives or everyone was tired and time was running out. CMC staff tell all beginning mediators to request of their co-mediator that they follow the mediation model, the checklist and the six-step process. CMC staff actually has mediators who have requested to mediate only with peers who follow the model.

Following the model and using the checklists can and will increase your skills and abilities to mediate, just as similar checklists assist experienced pilots. More important quality co-mediators who trust and follow the process are also able to increase the likelihood that their clients will reach an acceptable agreement rather than sliding across life or landing in the drink.

Public Housing and Conflict Resolution

CMC staff and Tennessee Community Assistance Corporation (TCAC) staff began working together in 1999 when we trained two VISTA volunteers from assigned to public housing in southern Tennessee. TCAC is a nonprofit organization that provides services to public housing residents in Tennessee. Their program serves 27 Housing Authorities with the mission of helping to establish resident initiatives in Public housing that will improve the quality of life within those communities.

Last year CMC assisted TCAC in writing a proposal to the Housing and Urban Development Agency to provide three-years of conflict resolution services to 10 selected resident councils in East Tennessee. The program was funded beginning 2002. CMC is the subcontractor to TCAC with responsibilities for conducting training and conflict resolution services.

In early May, John, Robyn and Jim provided three workshops over two days at a conference held in Kingsport for resident councils in East Tennessee. Site specific visits and personal programs will be developed for each of the ten locations.

Information From Blount County

CMCBC would like to formally welcome the 2002 County Council Members. These council members began meeting in March of 2002. The members are:

CMCBC mediators: Lynn Kidd, Cathy Rhodes.

Rule 31 Family & CMCBC Mediators: John Gundlach, Kim Russell. Community Resource Liaisons:

Emily (Woods) Hyden, UT Agricultural Services

Walteen Bobo & Sharon Hannum of ALCOA, Inc

Anthony Dunnings, MLK, Jr. Community Center

Theresa Irwin, Blount County Drug Court

Tim Self, Maryville College. Officer Donna Shropshire, Blount County Sheriffs Department

Thanks to Kim Russell for paying our membership to the Blount County Chamber of Commerce.

Sympathy and Best Wishes

CMC staff and volunteers extend our sympathy and best wishes to one of our founders Sandie Shaver for the loss of her husband Frank.

 

The Neutral Zone

COMMUNITY MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 5 August 2002

Volunteer of the Month Bob Swan

Our volunteer of the month has the job title of "Court Clerk and Mediation Director," and from the perspective of CMC and volunteers he is an excellent employee of the Knox County General Sessions Court. However, his volunteer efforts with CMC extend way beyond his job description. Bob was one of CMC’s founders and served for six years as Board Secretary. He actively serves on many Board initiatives and remains available to "actively listen" to CMC staff on ways to improve operations and plan new projects. Bob resides in Blount County and has been supportive in the startup of the Blount CMC. CMC staff and the volunteers who frequent Knox County General Sessions Court consider themselves fortunate to have had Bob on our side for the lifetime of the CMC. Thanks for your many years of support Bob.

Other Mediation Centers Within Tennessee

The Tennessee General Assembly passed legislation entitled "The Victim-Offender Mediation Center" 16-20-101 in 1992 to foster the establishment of non-profit organizations to provide dispute resolution services to the community on a voluntary basis. The five centers that were instrumental in the legislation still exist: Anderson County, Crossville, Nashville, Columbia and Knox County. Other volunteer mediation or VORP centers operate in the following locations: Putnam; Overton; Mid-South

(Hickman, Williamson, Perry, Lewis Lawrence, Wayne Counties); Sumner County; Memphis; Chattanooga; Murfreesboro; and 2 additional centers in Nashville. Eighteen of the 95 counties of Tennessee have mediation centers.

The Administrative Office of the Court (A0C) Tennessee Supreme Court is identified within the legislation as providing oversight of the centers. Center Directors meet quarterly at Center locations throughout the State to share programmatic information. The A0C program manager makes an annual site visit to each mediation center to ensure compliance with all required actions. CMC receives visitors from other centers throughout the year and makes similar visits to other neighboring centers.

 

Effective Control of the Process is the Basis for the Mediators’ Power – Volunteer Continuing Education

CMC realizes the dilemma of volunteers being both very busy and interested in learning more about mediation techniques that might enhance their skills. Each Neutral Zone will feature monthly a continuing education article. Staff welcome your comments.

Co-mediators, starting with the first step of explaining the mediation process, demonstrate through their actions that their competency. As the parties accept that neutral mediators are hearing them they will allow the mediators to manage the process. The following list is to remind volunteer mediators of the numerous ways to control the mediation process:

Peer Mediation Training at Carter Middle

The three CMC VISTAS, Kathleen, Jim and Susy worked together for the first time in providing peer mediation training to Carter Middle School students. The students were attentive and committed to learning the skills of mediation during the two half-days of training provided by CMC staff.

General Sessions Court Blount County

Volunteer mediators began this summer to receive referrals from both judges of Blount County General Sessions Court. Teams of volunteers are able to attend court, receive referrals and take parties to a nearby conference room to conduct the mediation. The volunteers have found the General Sessions manual to be an invaluable resource in ensuring court requirements are followed from referral to disposition. Robin Davis-Lay is seeking additional mediators for different time slots at the Court. For further information call her at 977-5454.

Congratulations to Sharon Upshaw and Carol Scott

We seldom get to celebrate the many accomplishments of our CMC family outside the area of mediation. Two recent examples are:

Sharon Upshaw has been selected as a participant in the Community Leadership 2003 program sponsored by the Knoxville-Knox County Community Action Committee.

Carol Scott, one of CMC’s juvenile mediators has been selected to participant in the Leadership Knoxville program.

September Training

CMC will have a full class for the two September 6 and September 13 weekends. We will be continuing the process of including in the training representatives from the ten housing communities that CMC is serving under a contract with the Tennessee’ Community Assistance Corporation. Volunteers are welcome to attend as role players, observers or to be panel participants.

Thank You Volunteers

To the five volunteers who either submitted names of applicants for training or placed the request in their church bulletins – thank you. To the sixteen volunteers who participated in the interviewing of applicants for mediation, as well as the many who were willing but not needed, CMC staff are most appreciative.

Mediation in the News: Reaching a Settlement?

One of our mediators carries large foam dice as one of her tools. She uses them to illustrate the fate of the parties if they don’t reach an agreement may just be the roll of the dice. The following actual mediated agreement was reached with a strong element of gambling on the future.A college football player assaulted a student at a fraternity party. The agreement reached was that if the football player made it to the NFL and played for three years he would pay the student $100,000. Otherwise he would pay the student nothing.

As experienced mediators we can see the challenges of writing such an agreement to ensure its validity were it were the player to become successful in the NFL.

"People are disturbed not by things, but by the view they take of them." - Epictetus

Visit our Community Mediation Center Web Site: www.2mediate.org

 

The Neutral Zone

MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 6 September 2002

Volunteer of the Month Maze Bolin

CMC wants to salute a mediator who is taking a leave of absence from regularly mediating in General Sessions Court. Maze has determined to leave her career as an architect and re-educate herself as a nurse. She told us she feels fortunate that she is able to pursue a new passion that will enable her to help others. The volunteer mediators who have had the opportunity to work with Maze during her years of service knew that they were working with a competent, caring mediator who trusted in the model. Maze, our good-will goes to you on your new pursuit and come back whenever you can.

September Volunteer Training Class

The 17th training class for volunteer mediators was completed on September 15. Twenty-two participants completed the training that took place at the Partnership for Neighborhood Improvement (PNI) and Center for Neighborhood Development Offices. PNI is responsible for oversight of the Empowerment Zone funds for the City of Knoxville.

The class was unique even for CMC in that 10 of the trainees were from public housing communities in East Tennessee. Johnson City, Kingsport, Rockwood, Lake City, Newport and Maryville were represented by enthusiastic volunteers. The twelve other class members will support the courts in Knox and Blount Counties. Trainees included Karen Adams, Thomas Bentulan, Amanda Bruns, Susy Hayden, Jessica Hogan, Lisa Kimball, Tina Lanning, Michael Powers, Sheila Proffitt, Star Purkey, Ennica Street, and Judith Toole.

CMC would like to thank the many volunteers who gave of their time during the training to support the new class: Conchetta Tuckson, Delores Mitchell, Robert Waltz, Janet Rooks, Van Brabson, Susan Mee, Jim Johnson, David Rupert, and Dianne Rairdon, Marcy Meldahl, and Dick Zivi. Special thanks to Gwen Winfrey, Project Specialist for PNI for opening and closing for CMC during the two weekends.

CMC has an ongoing number of applicants to become volunteers with us. Staff are constantly evaluating future needs for mediators by counties, courts and specialty areas. The tentative time for the next training is March or April, 2003.

Nail Down Each Agreement Immediately

Guest column contributed by Dick Zivi

Many times mediators don’t get the parties to sign off on things that they have agreed to as soon as they agree. Don’t wait until they have all parts wrapped up in a neat package. You might start a new poster sheet with the words "Issues We Have Agreed On" as the heading. Write down exactly what they say they have agreed on. Read it back to them and have them acknowledge that that is what they stated. Congratulate them and put a check by that point. Do not write anything else under that until they have another point that they agreed on and repeat the process. The poster agreement can initiate a "snowball" effect. Once they see thee ball rolling they may be more inclined to keep it going until it has gathered all the issues and the mediation is complete. If the mediation is scheduled for another session have them to sign the poster sheet. It may also be beneficial and necessary to write up an interim agreement, which includes all the agreements from the poster. The process will make the participants aware they are actually accomplishing something and will make a final resolution easier for everyone. To mix metaphors – nail down that snowball agreement on the poster sheet before it has a chance to melt away.

A Quarter’s Worth of Mediation

The third quarter July-September tends to be the slowest CMC quarter for conducting mediations. In the 2002 quarter just ending CMC received 128 referrals of which 110 of the parties came to mediation. Eighty-one mediation agreements were reached by the parties. CMC volunteers reached the milestone of having assisted parties referred by Knox County Juvenile Court in reaching over 1000 agreements. General Sessions volunteers reached the 1000th successful mediation in January of this year. The estimated number of mediations held where the parties did not reach agreement is 600-700.

The Coat of Many Celebrations

When Judith Toole, a participant in our last training, agreed to be the seamstress who will create a coat of many colors, an exciting new CMC project was begun. She and John estimated that approximately 60-75 swatches of cloth will be needed to develop the CMC coat that will commemorate the many accomplishments of the Center over the last decade. CMC has contacted many past and present contributors to the success of CMC including one representative for each of CMC’s17 training classes. Karen Doggette has painted a watercolor of our future coat that will become the greeting card for CMC. The "Coat of Many Accomplishments" will be used in all future celebrations involving our Center and its family members. We hope all the readership will have the opportunity to try on the coat and to appreciate your contributions to CMC.

Other CMC Family Members Moving On

Carol and Pete Seavor have moved to Roanoke, Virginia where Carol has taken the position as President of a medical college preparing nurses and other health professionals. CMC recognizes both their contributions as excellent mediators and also Pete’s strong Board presence. We wish them the very best and they will be missed.

Sarah Nunes, a former VISTA has returned to California to attend graduate school.

Mediation Concepts – Thinking About Our Thinking as Mediators

(Note from John: We are including excerpts from a short article by Larry Fong on mediation as viewed from a cognitive process. Five of his concepts are selected here and although brief we believe each could become a source of lengthy dialogue. The whole article is available if any of you are interested).

Mediators’ goals include metachange, that is, a change in the client’s ability to change. The goal is really to enhance the client’s effectiveness and freedom to change.The mediators set forth rituals to institute change. These rituals can include the memorandum of agreement, homework requirements, separate sessions and mediation ground-rules.

The mediator must restate or reframe the problem so that it is more palatable to the problem seekers than their original definition of the problem. Remember: the person who defines the problem usually has the solution. Thus, before mediation begins, there are at least two conflicting definitions of the problem and therefore at least two conflicting solutions. The mediator must provide alternative explanations for the problem so both problem seekers agree.

Neutrality includes a sense of respect, acceptance of naïve curiosity, fascination, even admiration, for the clients and their perceived problem.

The neutral mediator is not interested in blame, cause, or effect but rather in understanding how the clients are tied together in their deadlock. The mediator becomes a viewer of the relationship they have with the clients and avoids entering into the system, by trying to remain at a higher interactional level.

Strategizing is the cognitive ability in processing, articulating, and evaluating the effects of the past. In essence, this leads to the construction of new action plans and anticipates how to handle future difficulties. Co-mediators collect and combine all information to lead to successful management of the conflict at hand. Strategizing should be sensitive to the cultural, social, and legal demands of any contemplated decision.

From Larry Fong, "New Paradigms in Mediation: Thinking About our Thinking." Mediation Quarterly Winter, 1992

The CMC Website

We are considering ways to better utilize the CMC web site for our operation. Jim Davis is our webmaster: cmcjc@esper.com Please provide us with any thoughts on how to make it more useful for you or others: www.2mediate.org .

COMMUNITY MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 7

The Neutral Zone October 2002

The "Coat of Many Accomplishments" Campaign

We would like to invite you to join the "Coat of Many Accomplishments" campaign, our unique fund-raising drive for 2002. Not only are we raising money this year, but we are also raising the level of awareness concerning the benefits CMC provides for our community through creation of actual coats. Volunteer mediator Judith Toole is constructing the first coat from colorful cloth swatches provided by representatives of the 17 classes, friends, and organizations who have supported the Community Mediation Center’s growth during the last decade. The Coat of Many Accomplishments symbolizes the diverse activities of the Community Mediation Center and all those involved in volunteer mediation. The coats will be used during mediation celebrations, ceremonies and continuing education programs to remind us of our diversity and commitment to mediation. The funds raised will help CMC to provide additional services not covered by grant funding. Four programs we hope to establish are:

The coat will provide a physical reminder of what mediation is all about, as do these colorful words of a Volunteer Mediator that inspired its creation: "Before each of my co-mediations I consciously don the symbolic coat of mediation. As I move into my role as a mediator the outside demands affecting my life are put aside in order to best serve and empower the parties I will meet."

We hope to have enough cloth for several coats by the end of the fund drive. Please join this important effort by sending your signed cloth swatch (5" X 5" square, cotton blend) along with your contribution.

The watercolor of the coat, by Karen Doggette, can be seen on the CMC web site, www.2mediate.org.

Volunteer of the Month: Van Brabson
By Lisa Givonetti

Are you sure that the "I’m for Van" bumper stickers aren’t for Van Brabson? We think they ought to be.

Van is our volunteer for the month of October. He has been one of our most active volunteers since his training last year. He has regularly volunteered in the training of new mediators, is always quick to fill in to mediate at a moment’s notice, and is always up for a challenge. Van is one of the mediators staff calls upon when we have a particularly unusual or difficult case, because he is always open to new ideas and ready for a new venture. Thanks, Van!

Continuing Education
By Lisa Givonetti

While Sessions Court was closed on October 14 & 15 for a judicial conference, CMC provided a two-hour continuing education program for 10 Knox County General Sessions Court mediators. This is part of our continuing effort to be more accessible to mediators, to provide opportunities for mediators and staff to improve skills, and to discuss issues and questions that frequently come up in mediation.

Topics included review of the 6-step model and how it is applied in General Sessions mediations, as well as an exercise in listening skills. In General Sessions Court there is a myth that there are no relationships or "feelings issues." Any G.S. mediator will tell you, it really is a myth! These issues are always important in mediation, so we must always be vigilant listeners.

The class also focused on many legal issues, such as the continuing debate over whether or not mediators may educate parties about the law, or what to do if there is an insurance company involved in a General Sessions Case. For more information on legal questions in mediation, feel free to contact your CMC staff.

These types of informal training sessions will be held on a quarterly basis from now on, in both General Sessions and Juvenile Court and we hope to see more and more mediators involved!

VISTA News
By Kathleen Thomforde, VISTA

John Doggette and I have been working "from the top down" to promote peer mediation in Knox County Schools. We met with Bobby Gratz, the Knox County Middle School Coordinator, during the summer to discuss not only the importance of peer mediation programs but also how to present the program to school administrators. We then met with all of the middle school principals to discuss peer mediation opportunities. Soon after that meeting, Gresham Middle School staff expressed an interest in starting a program this fall. The Project GRAD campus coordinators are also being included in our efforts to create peer mediation programs.

In early August, Susy Hayden, Jim Davis, and I trained 18 Carter Middle School students over two days. The middle schoolers grasped the concepts of peer mediation surprisingly well in just 8 hours. Katie King, the peer mediation coordinator at CMS, reports that the students have been mediating and are doing well.

We have also been working with the two new Fulton peer mediation coordinators to rejuvenate the Fulton High program. Susy and I trained 8 students at the end of August, and they were all enthusiastic learners.

Finally, Susy and I have been working with local youth organizations such as the Townview Learning Center to promote conflict resolution. We have been promoting the programs through neighborhood organizations such as the Empowerment Zone. If you are interested in learning more about peer mediation or would like to be a part of the Peer Mediation Advisory Council, contact either Susy or me.

TCAC Training

John Doggette, Finn Bille, and Jim Davis recently provided conflict resolution training in Pigeon Forge for representatives of public housing communities served by the Tennessee Community Assistance Corporation. A total of over 75 participants learned about ways to recognize and deal with conflict, effectively problem-solve, and facilitate group meetings. The response of the participants was overwhelmingly positive. We are looking forward to more opportunities of this kind.

A New Tool for Your "Mediator’s Toolbox"
By Jim Davis

I’d like to introduce a problem-solving tool that I learned about several years ago. It was developed by Eli Goldratt (It’s Not Luck, 1994) for use in solving business problems, but it works with all types of complex problems. We all have experienced the situation in which the problem as stated by the disputants turns out not to be the basic problem. Sometimes it is necessary to mediate that problem just to take care of the immediate situation, but the problem often reoccurs if the underlying problem is not addressed.

Try this simple technique during step 3 (Identify the Problem) when the situation appears too complex to easily identify the problem. Use brainstorming to get the parties to list all the different problems between them, even if they don’t seem to apply to the situation that brought them to mediation. (It helps to put each item listed on separate "post-it notes" so they can be moved around. CMC will provide them on request.)

After listing as many as possible, discuss them and identify relationships between the various problems. One of the most effective ways to do this is to take each problem and find other problems that "cause" it. Then arrange the pieces of paper with arrows from one to another so that each problem points toward its "cause." It’s not uncommon to have more than one arrow pointing from or to any particular problem.

When you are done, you will most likely have at least one "core problem" that everything points to but that doesn’t point to anything else. Often, when the core problems are resolved, most of the other problems "go away."

Once you have identified the "core problem" (or problems) it us much more likely that you will be able to develop an accurate problem statement. And, that makes a successful mediation much more likely.

The CMC Web Site

We are looking for ways to improve the CMC web site. Please contact Jim Davis at cmcjc@esper.com with any ideas you have for making it better. Also, visit the web site at www.2mediate.org

COMMUNITY MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 8

The Neutral Zone November 2002

Volunteer of the Month

Norm Holland, our Volunteer of the Month, is one of CMC’s long time mediators who remains active although he frequently travels. Mediation schedulers revere Norm because he provides a monthly schedule of his availability. His mediation style reflects his positive, easy to get along personality. Mediation participants leave knowing they have been heard by a caring, but neutral, mediator. The CMC appreciates you Norm for your many and ongoing contributions to our Center. Thank you!

Judge Swann and Referee Chapman agree CMC Volunteer Mediators are Great!

On November 18th the Tennessee Valley Mediation Association hosted a panel discussion with Judge Bill Swann, 4th Circuit Court and Referee Cynthia Chapman, Knox County Juvenile Court on the subject - what judges look for in mediated agreements. Both of them were highly complimentary of the work done by the CMC volunteer mediators, using words like "wonderful" and "amazing" to describe the mediated agreements. Referee Chapman noted that she originally started out completely opposed to the use of mediation in her court, but had a complete change of opinion that is reinforced daily from reviewing the many parenting agreements reached in mediation . The comments were particularly appreciated since the majority of those attending the meeting were CMC volunteers.

Both Judge Swann and Referee Chapman also stressed the value of a temporary parenting plan for parents not able to address the development of a permanent long-term parenting plan. This is regardless of whether the clients in the mediation are divorcing or unmarried parents.

The Community Mediation Center
Executive Director’s Vision for 2003

Volunteers with the Community Mediation Center frequently express an interest in learning more about the goals and objectives of the organization. Every year the Executive Director provides the CMC Board with his Vision for the coming year. The overview is shared below. We would be pleased to receive your comments on the vision or other ways to develop “your” Center.

To provide leadership for the acceptance of mediation (empowered problem-solving using constructive dialogue) throughout Tennessee, and to be recognized in East Tennessee as the organization of choice for mediation and conflict resolution services.

This Vision will be realized when:

  • The courts effectively employ the voluntary mediation services.
  • The legal community including attorneys general, public defenders and private attorneys use CMC mediation services.
  • The school systems and CMC collaborate to promote peer mediation and other peaceful problem-solving services.
  • Law enforcement officers use CMC as a tool to offer parties in dispute.
  • The local governments, including both staff and elected officials in the counties where CMC is located use CMC as a conflict resolution resource.
  • Business and industry contact CMC to assist in resolving employer - employee and company-customer issues.
  • Individuals and neighborhood organizations know of and use CMC services.
  • Board members are more involved in the planning and oversight of CMC.
  • The Mediator’s Toolbox
    By John Doggette

    I just completed a book When Talk Works: Profiles of Mediators, by Deborah M. Kolb and Associates, that profiled interviews with twelve mediators working in areas spanning the profession. Drawing from two of the interviews are two paragraphs/thoughts that contain a minimum of four (4) tools for you to consider trying.

    I. The mediator, Frances Butler, was asked a question that should be familiar to all of us who frequently mediate. -After going through lawyers and the courts, why are we now being sent to mediation?

    She responds in a slightly lower pitch of voice – a signal that something important is being said. "I think what it really is, if I may be very honest with you, is that the judge is still hoping that if he gives you one last chance to sit down, you can grasp that chance and make a decision, and not force him to come down with an order that I guess he feels is going to contain things that neither one of you are going to like — that ‘win/lose’ thing." (p.23)

    II. The mediator, Linda Colburn, doesn’t believe that volunteer mediators need to work hard to establish their legitimacy and authority in the mediation room. The parties know that their dispute will be mediated and start with an acceptance that mediators belong. She uses the term "standing" to describe this authority: When you have standing, and when there is some sort of professional obligation that comes with the territory, then your entry is very different.

    She prepares for such a session by assuming that it will unfold in a calm and predictable way. "One of the things that I try to remind myself is to…really try to hear the story as it’s being related by the disputants, from their vantage point." The lack of immediate pressure allows the mediator to test her hunches. "I think that a rule for me is to pay homage to my intuition." (pp. 396-398)

    Tool 1: Be aware of your speech patterns – tone, pitch, speed and volume.

    Tool 2: Ms. Butler has a thought-through, honest and personal response to the question of "why am I in mediation." Every volunteer mediator should be equally prepared.

    Tool 3: Believe in your "standing" as a mediator and always act accordingly.

    Tool 4: Each mediator will have hunches based on listening to and observing the clients. Be willing to act on them and be sure to involve your partner mediator in the process.

    (We have ordered the book if any of our volunteers would like to borrow it).

    Visit the National Association for Community Mediation (NAFCM) web site at www.nafcm.org.

    NAFCM is a membership organization comprised of community mediation centers, their staff and volunteer mediators, and other individuals and organizations interested in the community mediation movement. NAFCM has 330 dues paying members and estimates there are 550 centers in the United States. The purpose of the National Association for Community Mediation is to support the maintenance and growth of community-based mediation programs and processes, to present a compelling voice in appropriate policy-making, legislative, professional, and other arenas, and to encourage the development and sharing of resources for these efforts

    When you have the opportunity to visit the site review the ten criteria for which “Community Mediation Centers are Characterized by, and/or Committed to:” Your CMC meets every one of the identified commitments.

    Coming Event – Continuing Education – Parenting and Visitation Mediation Skills, December 12 at Juvenile Court, 6:00-8:30 pm . A light meal will be provided beginning at 5:30.

    The skills enhancement session is open to all CMC volunteers who mediate parenting plans. For additional information contact the office. (594-1879)

    The CMC Web Site

    We are always looking for ways to improve the CMC web site. Please contact Jim Davis at cmcjc@esper.com with any ideas you have for making it better. Also, visit the web site at www.2mediate.org

     

    COMMUNITY MEDIATION CENTER Volume 2 Issue 9

    The Neutral Zone December 2002

    CMC Assists Tellico Village In Establishing Mediation Program

    One of CMC’s goals for some time has been the recognition of our value as consultants to other organizations, businesses, etc., in the area of conflict resolution. We have recently made a major step toward the realization of that goal.

    Several months ago representatives of the Tellico Village Property Owners Association (POA) approached John Doggette about the possibility of CMC assisting them in establishing a mediation program for the POA. This program would utilize volunteer mediators selected from Tellico Village residents for the purpose of settling disputes between property owners, as well as resolving disagreements between property owners and the POA. After several preliminary meetings, the first major step occurred in December when CMC assisted the POA in interviewing and selecting the first six Tellico Village volunteer mediators.

    All the potential mediators met at the Tellico Village Community Church on December 6 for an orientation to mediation presented by CMC. Then each candidate was interviewed by a team composed of one CMC volunteer and one Tellico Village member using a standard interview form developed by CMC. Six of the candidates were selected by the POA Board to receive on-site training, which CMC will provide in late January. CMC interviewers included Jim Davis, Bud Muly, Dick Zivi, Lynn Kidd, John Doggette, and Lisa Givonetti.

    This is a major milestone for both Tellico Village and CMC. We will bring you highlights of continuing developments as they progress.

    Volunteer of the Month: Kathleen Thomforde

    Kathleen Thomforde will soon be bowing out as the Community Mediation Center’s VISTA in January to return to college. As many of our readers already know, Kathleen dedicated the past year to learning about herself outside the classroom while serving others. CMC staff have benefited from her enthusiastic professional presence serving as case coordinator, dealing with many difficult clients and scheduling hundreds of cases. She quietly but thoroughly accomplished many tasks, served many clients and became capable of dealing with difficult situations and unusual circumstances. CMC has a presence in peer mediation in large part because of her efforts. She has become a familiar voice on the phone at Juvenile Court Annex, and always adds a personal touch with smiley faces and "thank-you" notes in mediation packets. Kathleen plans to continue her support of CMC as a volunteer mediator while in the Honors Program at the University of Tennessee. A toast to Kathleen - " a most worthy volunteer."

    Mediation Tools: Being Aware When Only One Party is in Conflict
    by John Doggette

    Recently I heard a noted mediator speak on the risks of overworking to balance the table when it seems that only one of the parties is in conflict. CMC has many such clients, particularly in the areas dealing with parenting of children.

    If as a mediator you perceive a one-sided parenting conflict you may want to separately assess your hunch with your co-mediator. By the time you begin to formulate the problem statement the co-mediators should be able to determine that one of the parents seems to be healthy. Indications of health would be 1) a focus on the interests of the child and not the self; 2) "future forward" thinking; 3) not becoming angry and drawn into reliving the "wrongs" of the past; and 4) the mediators’ assessment of where each parent is at present.

    Mediated parenting agreements almost always include concessions. The co-mediators should be aware that "table balancing" techniques could result in making the healthy parent the victim. The "healthy parent" is usually the easiest to communicate with and therefore could be expected to be the first to "yield concessions for the best interest of your child." The parent in conflict has no reason to change the negative strategy because, for them, it is a winning one. The mediators may unintentionally present the healthy parent with one of two options: either roll over again or take a parallel negative and usually unproductive tact.

    Co-mediators at an appropriate time might want to use separate sessions to directly ask the negative parent questions such as, "how many more years to you plan to carry this pain / anger / unhappiness?" or "How do you believe your anger toward (other parent) is beneficial for your child."

    If a second session is scheduled the co-mediators may want to request each parent to come back with examples of what a positive relationship would be between the parents in raising their child. The co-mediators can have the parents test their common interests in having a "positive relationship" for the benefit of their child at subsequent sessions. In step 5 when alternative solutions presented by both parents are individually assessed one of the criteria can be "does it improve future parental relationships?"

    Mediators are taught to do no harm. Use your mediation tools wisely when confronted with one positive and one negative client.

    Training Class for Parenting Mediators Is a Success

    A class in advanced mediation skills for parenting mediators was held at Juvenile Court Building on Thursday, December 15. CMC promised those attending that they would leave with at least five new tools that would help them become more effective mediators. They were not disappointed.

    Julian Wick introduced helpful information, based on neuro-linguistic programming, of visual cues mediators can use during a mediation to enhance our communication with clients. Julian told us that people commonly act in a certain manner when involved in particular thought processes. For example, he pointed out that when a person is trying to remember a fact or a situation, they normally "look" upward and to the left. On the other hand, when they are trying to formulate a response, they usually look upward and to the right.

    Julian also reviewed with us the five "representational systems" that people use as a part of their awareness and thought processes. These are visual, auditory, taste, smell, and kinesthetic. Different people have different primary systems. For example, one person might tend to respond to a comment with "I see what you mean," while another might say "I hear what you’re saying." Rather than just being different ways of saying the same thing, Julian pointed out that these responses can give us clues as to the way people process information on a regular basis and how misunderstandings occur, even when neither party is trying to be deceptive or difficult. We as mediators need to be sensitive to these clues as we try to help clients communicate more effectively.

    After Julian’s presentation, volunteers reviewed the new parenting plan form, and John led the group in a discussion of ways to make ourselves better mediators.

    The class attendees included the following: Ennica Street, Van Brabson, Donna Wilson-Renner, Denise Viator, Yvonne Webb, Karen Doggette, Kathy Theis, Ron Hopper, Dick Zivi, Marsha Hupfel, Dave Rupert, Judie Watson, Mary Jendrek, Julian Wick, Susy Hayden, Kathleen Thomforde, and Jim Davis.

    The CMC Web Site

    We are always looking for ways to improve the CMC web site. Please contact Jim Davis at cmcjc@esper.com with any ideas you have for making it better. Also, visit the web site at www.2mediate.org